I Hate School
by Tiryn
Summary: Everyone loves the Breakfast Club, right? Well, if someone added a rebel criminal that was in love with the criminal, how hectic can things get during Saturday detention? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

First of all, I don't own anything or anybody that is from the Breakfast Club. Now that is out of the way, I can finally start typing and hopefully you people can at least review!

Now enjoy!^^

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Saturday, March 24,1984 Shermer High School Shermer, Illinois 60062

_Dear Mr. Vernon, _

_We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write a essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us... in the simplest and most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, a criminal, and a rebel criminal, correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning._

_We were brainwashed...  
_

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I hate school. That's what every sixteen year old would say, right? I mean, come on! School is a hell hole that's a prison for every one of us that hate school. Now for those of us who care, it's a place where we can learn and survive in the world.

Guess which one I'm in?

If you guessed that I was in group one, then congratulations! You have managed to find your brain and part of your common sense.

If you guessed number two, then go see a doctor or something 'cause your brain has not come back from vacation yet or you need one installed into you. I'm not trying to be mean, oh, wait, I am being mean, never mind!

Well, anyway, you get the gist. School is not cool and the big deal about your guessing skills yada, yada, yada. Yeah, yeah, I'm being over dramatic this time, but trust me, when I say something and I'm looking at you straight in the eyes, then I'm telling the truth.

Anyway, back to what I was talking about. I hate school because of the principle, most of the people in it, and Saturday detention. Principle equals trouble and stupidity, most of the people in school are either stuck-up snobs or jocks, and Saturday detention because of the stupid principle not letting me sleep in because I set his office on fire_ and_ skateboarded down the hallway with at least five teachers chasing after me.

At least, I think it was five teachers. Or was it seven? I can never remember how many teachers chase after me every time.

I'm starting to get off topic, so back to the situation at hand.

I am currently walking to Shermer High School at six in the morning in bluebell jeans, tight black t-shirt, black elbow length warmers, knee length black combat boots, and a red half jacket. You could say I was very proud of what I have done to the school yesterday afternoon, but I'll tell you later. I walked into the parking lot about fifty-two minutes later with everyone already inside the building. I didn't care if I was going to get another day of detention, so I waited outside the library for Mr. Vernon.

Vernon walked into the library without noticing me there next to the library entrance in the shadows. Sometimes I wonder if he is anyway near smart at times. He glanced around and started turning purple when he noticed I wasn't there.

Me? Slingshot plus tiny pebble equals very mad principle and a comedy show. So I took out one of my slingshots and one of my smooth pebbles, readied it, aimed it and fired. You should see the surprise and anger that erupted on his face when the pebble hit his smooth, round head. He turned around abruptly and saw me standing there with the goofiest smile on my face. He turned pink, then red, the finally a deep purple that caused me to snicker. I waltzed into the library with my goofy smile still plastered on my face and sat behind one of the biggest delinquents in school: Jhon Bender. He was pretty cool if you got to know him.

He cleared his throat and started on his usual Saturday detention for all the people who are stupid (or smart enough) enough to get Saturday detention. Me? I was here for a few weeks and I already made a reputation that was probably right next to Bender's profile in the school. "Well, well. Since we are all here, I would like to congratulate everyone, except for Mrs. Cane, for being on time." He then turned toward me. "Mrs. Cane, you will get two more Saturday detentions for your little stunt earlier." I decided to piss him off some more. What can I say, it was fun!

I jumped up in my chair and went "YAY! MORE USELESS SATURDAY DETENTIONS!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I then sat down with a fake innocent expression and sweetly said "And what did I do exactly, Mr. Vernon? Throw your sorry ass into the Caribbean? Cause that will do a whole bunch of good for this school." I sat back in my chair and watched as, once again, his face contorted into the anger colors of his face. "And you know what else I noticed?" I started with my fake sweet voice. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that everyone was trying to keep in their laughter. "Your face is always purple. Is your favorite color purple? If you say no, I would just say you're lying cause your face says that it LOVES purple." I then sat back with a satisfied grin as I watched as Mr. Vernon yelled at me. He was saying something about two months of detention.

He calmed down in a few minutes and was going to restart his detention speech when the princess of the school, Claire, raised her hand and started talking without permission. "Excuse me sir, I think there's been a mistake. I know this is detention, but... um... I don't think I belong here." She nervously finished. The principle acted as though he didn't hear her and spoke to us.

"It is now seven-o-six. You have exactly eight hours and forty-five minutes to think about why you're here, to ponder the error of your ways." He gave me a very piercing look. To anyone else, it would have been scary, but to me, it seemed as though he was trying to hold in his laughter. Seriously, it was hilarious! Check it out in my range of vision and you'll know what I mean. Jhon launched a loogie in his mouth and caught it in his mouth again in the same place (mouth).

Clair gasped disgustingly while David looked like he was going to puke any minute.

"You may not talk," He looked pointedly at Clair. "You will stay in these seats," Brian, the brains of the school, moved back to his seat that he was in when Mr. Vernon walked in. Vernon walked towards where Jhon and I sat. Vernon pulled the seat out beneath Jhon's feet. "And you will not sleep." He walked towards Allison and kept speaking. "Alright people, we're going to try something a little bit different today; we are going to write an essay. No less than a thousand words." He placed a paper and a pencil in front of Allison, who snapped to look up into Mr. Vernon's face. "Describing to me who you think you are." He continued to give the same materials to Jhon and I.

'_He's joking, right?'_ I thought as I looked at the blank piece of paper.

"This a test?" Jhon asked but he was ignored and Mr. Vernon continued his little speech.

"And when I say essay," Vernon said as Jhon placed his feet on the table. "I mean essay; I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times."

"Damn it." I said under my breath. I looked over at Jhon to see him smirk at me before turning back forward. This day just gets weirder and weirder.

"Is that clear Mr. Bender, Mrs. Cane?" Vernon asked pointedly towards the two of us.

"Crystal..." Jhon muttered while I just laid back in a whatever kinda way.

"Mrs. Cane?" Vernon asked again.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry, then it'll probably be two or three words then." I smirked and watched the fiasco begin.

"You get another month's detention!" Vernon yelled at me.

I shrugged and said "I really have nothing else to do. So why not?" Vernon turned a few shades of purple and continued talking as if I didn't say anything.

"G-good." He managed to stutter out. "Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourselves. Maybe you'll decide whether or not you'll care to return." This principle is crazy, I have to admit.

Then Brian raised his hand, stood up, and spook without permission. "Ah, ya, I can answer that right now sir. And that would be no, no for me cause-"

"Sit down, Johnson." Vernon interrupted. Brian sat back down. "My office," Mr. Vernon pointed towards the doors of the library and down the hallway. "is right across the hall. Any monkey business id ill-advised. Any questions?" Wow, he said three whole sentences without blowing up at us. Congratulations, Vernon.

Jhon started to speak. "Ya," He started. "I got a question; does Barry Manilow do your wardrobe?" I bursted out laughing after that.

"I'll give you and Mrs. Cane the answer to that next Saturday detention." Whoop-du-de-do, Mr. Vernon.


	2. Chapter 2

For the one person who has reviewed and liked my story, thank you so much! Here's the second chappy ^^

Oh, and I was told that I spelled John wrong. Sorry about that!

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

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**_Last time on 'I Hate School':_**

**_John started to speak. "Ya," he started. "I got a question; does Barry Manilow do your wardrobe?" I bursted out laughing after that._**

**_"I'll give you and Ms. Cane the answer to that next Saturday detention." Whoop-du-de-do, Mr. Vernon_**

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"Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns." Vernon continued after he gave John and I another Saturday detention. This is going to be an interesting Saturday detention. As soon as Vernon walked out, John said "That man, is a brownie hound." I bursted into another laughing fit which earned me strange looks.

I stared back at them after I calmed down a bit. "What? What John said is true." I then looked into my bag, got my cell phone and started to play some games. After that, I just tuned everything out; that is, until something John said caught my attention.

"What are we supposed to do if we need to take a piss?" I looked at John and saw that he shrugged. "Well, you gotta go, you gotta go." I heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down and watched as chaos began to unfold in the library.

"Oh my god!" Claire exclaimed. God, she is such a drama queen!

Andy turned toward John and said, " You're not urinating in here, man."

"Don't talk, it makes it crawl back up." John said. That was a strange thing to say. Very... strange... thing... to say. I think I'll shut up now.

"You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor." Andy growled while glaring at Bender. Geeze, I wonder if they all have issues with one another.

Bender looked at Andy as if he dealt with this many times. "You're pretty sexy when you get angry. Grrrrr." By this time I was snickering badly and trying not to laugh out loud. I knew that Bender was only messing with everybody, but this was too hilarious! Andy looked like he was about to do something that he would probably regret later, which he more than likely will do to John, and then he said something really annoying. "Hey, why don't you close the door so we can get the prom queen and the punk girl here pregnant." That instantly caused me to stop my laughing.

"What the hell did you just say?" I growled out. Bender turned toward me with a smirk on his face.

"Ah, punk girl is getting mad! Why don't you scratch me with your silver bracelets, eh?" I glared so fiercely he backed off. I sat back and huffed at him. What a jerk, and I actually thought he was funny! I mumbled a few curses to myself as Bender kept on pissing everybody off.

"Hey," Andy growled. "If I loose my temper, you're totaled, man!"

"Totally?" Bender asked back in a joking tone.

"Totally." Apparentely, Andy didn't catch the joking tone.

"Why don't you just shut up? No one here cares." Heartless Claire, as always.

Bender turned toward me. "What about you, punk girl?"

I gave him a 'look' and hissed out, "Screw you."

He smirked. "Love to." I growled even more, digging my nails into my arms to stop myself from jumping up and tearing him into shreds. He backed off a few steps before turning back to insulting the others even more. I didn't want to deal with this anymore than I had to, so I decided to keep quiet for the rest of the day.

"Hey, Sporto! What did you do to get in here, forget to wash your jock?" Bender teased Andy about the sport he was in, which was the boys wrestling team. I honestly thought it was a way to get men to be even more gay, but that's just my opinion.

"Ah, excuse me, fellas, I think we should just write our papers." I shook my head at the innocence Brian portrayed. Poor Brian, trying to stay out of trouble, and yet, here he is on a Saturday detention. Brian wasn't going to get anywhere with any of us, so why did he even try?

"Look, just because you live here, doesn't give you the right to be an ass! Knock it off already!" Andy said to Bender. No wonder those two are in two different cliques; they would tear the place apart with their fights. It's interesting, though, to watch them fight and mouth off each other.

"It's a free country." Bender said back as a retort. '_Of course it's a free country.'_ I thought sarcastically. Andy just looked about ready to punch Bender. I leaned forward in anticipation of a fight about to happen.

"He's just doing it to get a rise out of you," Claire said. "just ignore him." Damn, and I thought there was actually going to be a fight!

"And you just had to say something." I said sarcastically under my breath. I didn't see that Bender smirked at me before calling Claire sweets. Uh, one of the most sickening nicknames ever. If anyone ever called me that, they are getting a swift kick to where the sun doesn't shine. I sat back and thought to the first time I did that to a guy. My brother almost killed me for that! I snickered, reminincing on that particular memory.

I kicked back and stared up at the ceiling as everyone talked and/or argued.

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Sorry for not updating in a long time! I hope you guys liked this chapter! Shout out to all of my reviewers! Thank you and sorry for misspelling John againa and again!

Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, yes I know I'm spelling John wrong, but I'm trying! Anyways, the reason why I call her a rebel criminal is because she rebels against criminal things, but she does them herself, which is like a hypocrite, and I couldn't think anything better to come up with. She's not exactly a punk either... Anyways, she set the office on fire by accident. It's explained in the next chapter. Thanks for the compliments, all of you!

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_**I Hate School**_

_**Chapter 3**_

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My eyes snapped open as I heard Claire yell, "Go to Hell!"

'_We're already in Hell, Princess.' _I thought with a bit of malice. I watched as John began asking if Andy had sex with Claire or not using all kinds of different phrases. It was hilarious! I quietly chuckled to myself, listening to John make fun of the jock and princess. I would do it, but I'm not too much of a fan of making fun of others.

Why I have earned the title of 'rebel criminal,' I'll never know.

Then, Mr. Vernon's huge voice boomed from the hallway. I winced, not knowing that the man had such a huge set of lungs, but I started to giggle after a bit. Everyone turned to give me strange looks as my laughter escalated to an all time high.

"What are you laughing at, freak?" Claire hissed out from her seat a bit away from. I wiped the tears from my eyes before I replied. "Oh come on, Princess, have a sense of humor!" I laughed a bit harder while Claire seethed from her spot in the room. Oh, I loved poking fun at the poor girl here...

I'm so freakin' sadistic that it even freaks me out a bit. Scary. I mentally slapped myself. I just realized that I'm such a fucking hypocrite. No wonder people call me a rebel criminal...

I so feel like giving myself a right smack around the head. Great, now I sound like my dad. I groaned and covered my face with my hand. That's not ever a good thing.

"Hey, doll face, keep a hold of this, will you?" I looked in front of me to see that there was a screw in front of my face. I followed the hand that was holding the screw to see that John was holding it out to me with a smirk.

I raised an eyebrow. I totally missed something, didn't I? I shrugged and said, "Yeah, sure, why not?" I grabbed the screw and stuffed it into my bra. The hair on the back of my neck tingled and I looked up to see everyone looking at me with their jaws dropped. "What? Not like Vernon's going to stuff his hand down my boobs to get to it. That will get him to jail." They still didn't look away, so I glared at all of them.

They looked away then. I smirked, happy to know that my glare was improving.

Andy glared at Bender, hissing out, "Fix the door, Bender."

Bender told Andy to be quiet. "Look, I've been here before, I know what I'm doing!"

Andy shh-ed Bender in turn and growled out, "Fix the door!" Bender lost his cool then.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Bender yelled. I then heard Vernon yell. He threw open the library door looking pissed. Vernon's eyes scanned over us, before angrily asking, "Why is this door opened?"

Bender, being the smart-alec that he was known for, answered first with a smirk plastered onto his face. "How are we supposed to know? We're not supposed to move, right?" Bender, you ass, you're going to get yourself into trouble.

Vernon then rounded onto Claire. "Why?" His voice was low and menacing, and his face was starting to turn purple again.

Claire replied, "We were just sitting here, like we were supposed to." I raised my eyebrow at that response. I honestly would've thought Claire would pratically jump at the chance to rat Bender out. Why was she guarding him, in a sense of the word?

Vernon went quiet, thinking over her words possibly, before he spoke again. "Who closed that door?" Wow, he doesn't believe us. I hid a smirk. Well, we were lying to him, and we were in Saturday school with Bender here... I'm not helping myself at all.

John Bender replied yet again, somewhat saying the truth this time. "I think a screw fell out."

"The door just closed, sir." Andy decided to sheild Bender, too? What the hell? Weren't they just at each other's throats a moment ago? Wow, I lived in a fucked-up world.

"Who?" Vernon yet again growled. He's itching to blame someone, isn't he? I so bet he's going to start blaming Bender and I, because we're 'trash' (Vernon's words, not mine!). I heard Allison squeak and a small thunk followed right after. Maybe she laid her head on the desk? I don't know and I didn't bother to look.

None of us spoke this time. Vernon then rounded on Bender and said, "Give me the screw, young man." He immediately hit the nail with that one, but the only problem was, Bender didn't have the screw; I did.

John told the truth. "I don't have it."

Vernon clenched his fists. "Do you want me to yank you out of your seat and shake it out of you?" His face was starting to turn purple again. It's fascinating the colors his face turns into, it's like he changes colors on a whim.

Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

John repeated himself again. "Screws fall out all of the time; the world isn't perfect." Too true.

He then turned to me. I widened my eyes, thinking, '_Oh shit.'_

"Give me the screw, Cane." I decided to mess with his head a bit and piss him off.

"What screw?" I asked. I tried to be as innocent as possible, but it never works. Oh well, you never know if you don't try.

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**_How do you guys like it so far? Sorry, but I'm trying to work out some kinks here, since I'm trying to think of a way to NOT make John OOC..._**

**_Well, please do update :)_**


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